Definitions

I didn’t want to tweet this coz a blog is more permanent, you know? Anyway, maybe you’ve read them before but they always make me smile.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & an idiot at the other.

Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

Conference/Seminar : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power…

Classic: A book which, people praise but do not read.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atomic Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.

Pessimist: – A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Employee : One who gets paid for reading such mails……

  • kyt

    the diplomat one is such a killer and of course the last one, only that i dont read mails during job time

    when do you read your mails?

  • http://cesily.wordpress.com cesky cess

    I’m doing the last one. ;-)

    I do the last one a lot too…

  • Mu Accurate

    Creative works! The one on philosopher killed me! Am alive thu

    alive but dead….

  • http://shikomsa.com Shiko-Msa

    Lol at Committee. Or what Muite likes to pronounce Kamiti.

    true, isn’t it?

  • http://jaqaya.blogspot.com Mokaya

    Haha divorce future tense of marriage? Is it always so

  • Purgex Purging

    Hey…thanks for that. Great post. I’ll be coming back shortly for more info. Cheers!
    Purging plastic

  • TimothyRainParker

    hahahah I want to apply some of those meanings!LOL office is where you can relax after a strenuous home life…amazing!

    • savvykenya

      True story!

  • Peyton

    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:

    40-ish………………………………………49

    Adventurous……………..Slept with everyone

    Athletic………………………………..No tits

    Average looking………………..Ugly

    Beautiful………………………Pathological liar

    Contagious Smile………………Does a lot of pills

    Emotionally Secure………………….On medication

    Feminist……………………………………Fat

    Free spirit………………………………Junkie

    Friendship first……………………..Former slut

    Fun……………………………………Annoying

    New-Age…………..Body hair in the wrong places